The Psychology of Reaction: Uncovering the Factors Behind Human Actions (part I)

 This morning, a customer approached me, visibly upset. Her product—still under warranty—wasn’t working as expected, and she seemed ready for a confrontation. I stayed calm, inspected the item carefully, and found that the damage was quite severe—likely beyond what the warranty would cover.

As I explained the situation and acknowledged her frustration, I could feel my own emotions start to shake. I raised my voice slightly—not out of anger, but to hold the space, to signal that I needed her to calm down so I could explain the process clearly. Both she and her husband seemed impatient and, at times, disrespectful. But I reminded myself to stay grounded.

Then something shifted.

The moment she felt heard and supported, her tone softened. The tension began to melt away. And in that quiet pause, I was reminded:

People don’t just react to what happens.
They react to what it means to them.

Taking advantage of that moment of clarity, I paused and asked myself:

Why does our body react so quickly—so instinctively—when our anger is triggered?
Why do our hands start to shake, our voices tremble, or our breath shorten before we even have time to think?

It’s because anger - like all strong emotions - isn’t just a thought. It’s a biological event.

1. The Sympathetic Nervous System Gets Activated

When you feel angry or anxious, your brain—especially the amygdala—interprets the situation as a threat. Instantly, your sympathetic nervous system is activated, triggering the well-known “fight or flight” response.

2. Stress Hormones Are Released

In that moment, hormones like adrenaline (epinephrine) and cortisol are released into the bloodstream to prepare your body for emergency action. These hormones cause:

• Increased heart rate

• Rapid breathing

• Muscle tension to prepare for reaction

Shaky hands and trembling voice are a result of the nervous system being "overloaded." Blood is redirected to large muscles, making it harder to control small muscles—like those in your fingers or vocal cords.

3. Temporary Loss of Rational Control

The prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for logic, speech, and conscious decision-making—becomes less active under high stress. This makes it harder to control your voice, leading to shaking, stammering, or unclear speech.

📌 In short:

When you're angry or overwhelmed, your body enters a state of red alert. Shaky hands and voice are signs that your system is channeling energy to protect you from a perceived threat—even if it’s just emotional.

What softens a human reaction?

When a person feels:

• Heard (even if not agreed with)

• Respected (through tone, eye contact, and delivery)

• Supported (even without a guaranteed solution)

→ Their reaction shifts from defensiveness to cooperation.

💡 Reflecting on this morning’s customer experience:
It was only after I calmly explained, without reacting, and still looked for a way to help her—that the tension began to ease, and calm was restored.

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🔄 How to apply this awareness in daily life

At work:
Don’t just listen to words—listen to emotions.
Other people’s reactions often say more about them than about you.

In relationships:
Ask yourself: “What fear might this reaction be coming from?” before responding.
No one gets angry without carrying a wound somewhere beneath the surface.

Within yourself:
Pause and ask: “What’s being triggered in me?” before you react.
Choosing to observe instead of instantly responding is emotional maturity in action.

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🎯 Conclusion:

People don’t always react to the situation itself.
They react to the feelings triggered deep within their subconscious.

Understanding this helps us live with more calm—and connect with others through compassion, not judgment.