The Psychology of Reaction: Uncovering the Factors Behind Human Actions (Part II)
Tracing the Roots of Domestic Violence
Why are men the perpetrators and women the victims in most domestic abuse cases?
A question that seems simple on the surface—but when we follow it like a red thread, it leads us through layers of society, psychology, and further back into the primal roots of human survival from tens of thousands of years ago.
1. The Surface: Power, Society, and Gender Norms
At the most visible layer, domestic violence reflects a story of unequal power dynamics between genders. In many cultures—particularly in East and Southeast Asia—men are granted the authority to lead, control, and make decisions, while women are taught to endure, obey, and sacrifice.
The result?
Marriage—supposedly the safest of places—often becomes a space where male power is reinforced.
When a woman resists, asserts independence, or simply voices her own thoughts, it directly threatens the pre-assigned order of control.
2. The Deeper Layer: The Abuser’s Psychology
Behind a slap or a punch lies more than just anger.
It can be:
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A fear of losing control, prompting violence to reassert dominance.
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Fragile self-esteem, easily wounded by even minor criticism.
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Jealousy and fear of abandonment, masked as “love.”
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Suppressed emotions, built up over time with no healthy outlet.
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Substance abuse, like alcohol or drugs, which impairs self-regulation.
And one crucial, often overlooked factor:
They may not believe they are doing anything wrong.
With a distorted belief system, they may view violence as “discipline,” as “protecting the family,” or “preserving honor.”
3. Further Down: Evolutionary Remnants and Primal Instincts
Evolutionary psychology reveals a paradox:
The more we understand, the more disturbing—but also clearer—things become.
In early human societies, men had to ensure that their partners did not bear children by other men.
This gave rise to possessiveness, control, and jealousy.
Aggression was once a survival tool—used to compete for resources, mates, and status.
Violence in relationships, while harmful today, was once a (toxic) strategy to prevent abandonment and protect genetic transmission.
These mechanisms may have helped humans survive in the wild—but today, they become destructive and dehumanizing in a society where love requires freedom and mutual respect.
In other words:
Modern humans still carry prehistoric brains.
And when we lack awareness and education, our primal instincts can resurface in moments of pain, fear, or vulnerability—manifesting as violence.
4. So What Can We Do?
Most importantly:
Violence is not biological destiny.
Instincts may be inherited—but behavior is learned, repeated, and changeable.
That’s why we need:
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Social awareness
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Education about emotional health and healthy relationships
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Legal protections for victims
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Psychological therapy for those who perpetuate harm
All of these exist to help humans transform instinct into consciousness—to learn how to love without possession, to feel anger without harming, to grieve without destroying.
5. A Final Note: Healing Begins with Truth, Not Just Logic
To change behavior, we can’t just say, “Don’t do that.”
To end violence, we must ask:
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Why did it start?
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Where in the psyche, in memory, in evolutionary history did it begin?
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And most importantly: Can it be changed?
Yes!
Violence can be completely stopped because it is not innate.
But this can only happen when we stop ignoring the problem and begin to reflect within ourselves.
Don’t waste the experiences in your life—embrace them, reflect deeply, and grow from each one.
Not relying on self-help books, but taking real action to help yourself .
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| Fury and Ruins Lửa giận & tàn tích |
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